So, after two years of working full time with four children, I am officially becoming a stay at home mom. I am so excited. And terrified.
I like working. I feel like I had a job that I was called to do. It gave me reason to shower, and put on make up. It pushed me out of my sloppy funk. I am scared to go back to being home.
I am worried that I will not be good at it. I see amazing moms all the time around me that I want to strive to be more like them. I see so many things in our home that I need to do that I can’t while I am working. My kids need me home. They are going through some crazy changes.
So I thought, to make things interesting, I would write myself a few things to NOT give up when I stay home this time:
Shoes I love them. I see no reason that I can not have cute shoes as a stay at home mom.
Fashion I want to still be able to be fashionable. When I was home in the fog of post partum depression I was lucky to get out of pjs let alone dress up. I was beyond frumpy. I want more for myself than that.
Going out I am a home body when I am home. I like being there. Unfortunately, it turns me into a bit of a hermit. I want to make a point of exiting my front door several times a week.
Makeup Even a little eyeliner helps me feel pulled together.
Days with none of these things I will be home. It’s okay to occasionally have pajama days. I need to allow myself to be able to relax.
Photography I want to be more intentional about my photography. I will be adding my photos that I take professionally when I am home. No more cell phone camera all the time. I want to crack out my good camera for my family, not just for clients.
Now, I know that these things sound shallow, and in many ways they are. But they are important to me. When I lose sight of taking care of myself, everything around me feels worse. I want to be proud to have people drop into my home. I want to be able to not be humiliated when I run into other people I know.
I want to be able to serve my family in a way that I simply couldn’t when I worked. I want to go to playgrounds and zoos. I want to see them more often. To volunteer at things. To surprise them with hot lunches every so often.
We recently have been walking a road with our oldest who has been diagnosed with severe anxiety, ADHD (a subtype without hyperactivity), and some elements of oppositional defiance. We have been working with a therapist for the past 6 months or so, we have a psychiatrist, and a psychologist on her team also. In two weeks we are meeting with her naturopath to have food sensitivity testing and will be framing our home around that as well. This has been a bumpy walk. She is so smart that it has been overlooked a lot by many teachers. I plan to blog more about this later, but I wanted to share this with those of you who have asked.
I am so happy to be able to be home more to support her also through this.
Please just pray that I am not a miserable failure. I want to be all that I am called to be. I want to build our domestic Church. I want to live my vocation in the way I am being called at this time.
Pray for me as I pray for you always.
Peggy Zallas is a Catholic wife and mom of 4 girls (10, 8, 4, 3). The family has two female chihuahuas, a female bordercollie/greyhound X, a hamster, and some fish. You can find out more about her adventures and see her stunning photographs, on either her blog Catholic Momma or her Facebook page https://m.facebook.com/CatholicMomma