RestoredEvery once in a while God urges people to do the tough stuff.  Writing a blog about pornography ranks up there with the “tough stuff” for me.  After the recent news of the “affair” website Ashley Madison being hacked and 40 million user’s information being leaked God gave me a giant push.

That same day I was asked to review the newest book by Matt and Cameron Fradd published by Catholic Answers (Restored : True Stories About Love And Trust After Porn) about marriages obliterated by pornography addictions and how those marriages were restored by God’s Grace (and a lot of work on the part of both spouses).

With more than 90% of regular church attending Christian men admitting to viewing pornography within the last month it would seem that this book would be a hope and comfort to many, many marriages.   I was told by a priest recently that from what he is hearing in the confessional pornography is the greatest moral evil of our time. 

Sure we hear on TV and in the media that it isn’t hurting anyway, is normal, we may even hear it’s good for our sex lives.  But the fact is that pornography has many, many victims.  First the women (or often times girls and many times trafficked women and men) are being forced into this industry against their will.  They are victims.  Second the men (and increasingly women) who are viewing pornography are at the very least destroying their brains and at worst destroying their souls with the fallout being broken marriages, families, and relationships.  As spouses navigate this dark road, often times alone because the shame of pornography leaves them too afraid to reach out for help, their children are often left in the chaos.  Many marriages end.  Children are left in broken homes.

In case you might be thinking I’m just a moral fuddy duddy and porn isn’t bad for you because you’re not a Christian or there’s no scientific research proving otherwise a quick google search ( I don’t recommend a google search involving the word pornography if you don’t have internet security) can tell you otherwise. Increasingly secular and scientific research is showing that pornography changes your brain and ruins your relationships (not just with your spouse but also your ability to relate well to any other non 2d images).

The book Wired For Intimacy has great information about how porn ruins your brain.  Websites are popping up all over such as Pornography Harms and Matt Fradd’s The Porn Effect on the destruction that pornography is causing in our culture, how to get help, and stories of true healing.   A couple of years ago Matt Fradd’s book “Delivered – True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned From Porn to Purity” hit the shelves.  Delivered has stories of men and women caught in the snares of pornography and other sexual addictions and how they escaped, found true freedom, and who were brave enough to share their stories.  Courage.  That’s what it takes to talk about something like the evils of pornography in a sex saturated culture that says “anything goes”.  Satan tells us it’s all good, it’s all OK, it’s all acceptable.  Yet (many) porn users do it in secret, become addicted quickly, and suffer for years if not a lifetime because of shame.

Parents think “not my kid”, spouses think “not my husband/wife” but the reality is that in this culture we are carrying porn in our pockets.  You absolutely 100% can NOT ignore this issue in your homes.  Pornography addiction (or whatever you want to call it if you don’t think it’s a “real” addiction) cannot be prayed away.  It quickly becomes a psychological issue that requires at least some type of professional help and forever accountability.  Internet and tablet/phone securities such as Covenant Eyes offer such security, offer several levels of filtering, and I have found it extremely user friendly (when I can remember my password.  Even *if* you think “I can trust my kid or my spouse” you shouldn’t trust the world.

The pornography industry is targeting you and your family.

It’s a multi billion dollar industry.  Pornography is the “gateway drug” and leads to other more “dangerous” behaviors.  Talk to your kids about the dangers of pornography and don’t think if something isn’t “hardcore porn” it’s alright.  Our culture is saturated with magazines and billboards, movies and television shows that push sex in our faces 24/7.  Talk to your kids about the difference between using a person’s body for your own satisfaction and respecting the human person because they are made in the image and likeness of God.

Finally if your marriage or relationship is on this dark and often lonely road of pornography and sex addiction get the book Restored to find hope and healing. (THIS song has brought me great comfort in my marriage.  God can heal your marriage if you let Him).

Satan wants us to wallow in our shame and feel alone.  Addictions and unhealthy behaviors continue when we live in the dark.  Jesus has shown us another way.  He wants us to live life abundantly and to live in the light of His mercy.  He wants us to grant mercy and forgiveness.  It is possible.  And in light of Ashley Madison and all that goes with it please remember to grant the same grace and mercy to all those in the throws of immoral behavior.  Jesus died for all of us and who among us wants our deepest sins and secrets broadcast on the internet?  Healing can be found if it is sought and if those in need are treated with compassion.

DivineMercy

 

 

“My Secretary, write that I am more generous towards sinners than toward the just.  It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My blood was spilled.  Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My mercy.” – Jesus to St. Faustina in the Diary of Faustina

 

Amy Ekblad is a homeschooling mom of 12 children on earth and 9 angels in Heaven.  Last year while pregnant with her 12th child she completed her Bachelor’s Degree proving once again that all things are possible with God. Follow her family life here at http://www.ekblad9.blogspot.com

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